Inspirational Quotes & Tips for a Happy Life: Making Others Happy?
Mia Pratt's Inspirational Quotes & How-To Tips for a Happy Life: Golden Key #9 Says, "We Can't Change How Someone Else Responds to Us and We Can't Make Someone Else Happy." The 9th Golden Key reminds you that you don't get to decide what others experience in life, but you do get to decide how to process your own experiences.
In essence, this key unlocks your ability to create the life you want to live, through changing how you respond to the world and those in it.
Figuring out what is and is not your responsibility
You are responsible for upholding a plethora of important agreements with the people around you, and that places you at the middle of a lifelong balancing act. But when you become overwhelmed by the needs, demands and expectations of others, you can find yourself trapped in a life of unhappiness.
You will always be responsible for certain things - like paying your rent or showing up for work on time. You have your spouse, children or parents to care for, and even pets and plants require devotion, commitment and attention. However, there is line you must draw in determining exactly what is and is not your responsibility - and that line is a life preserver that can mean the difference between misery and happiness.
And here is that line: You are NOT responsible for the behavior of others, or for their happiness (and they are not responsible for yours). You are responsible for your own Thought Life, and the fruit of action and results that it bears.
No matter how often anyone points the finger of blame at you for their unhappiness, you cannot take on the responsibility of trying to "make" others happy. Their happiness, their anger, their bitterness, their failures and their behavior are their responsibility. And if they are blaming you for their unhappiness, then it's up to you to allow that experience to be theirs, and to refuse to take it on.
You may respond to others with compassion, and give them whatever support and assurances you are able - and you may compromise and make reasonable changes in your behavior or actions to accommodate their wishes (hey, putting up the toilet seat or making your bed in the morning isn't too much to ask, is it?). But you cannot insert yourself into their experience and think that by somehow trying harder or fixing something in you, that you can somehow make them happy. No matter how much you give, how hard you try, or what you are willing to sacrifice in your own life - you can never "make" another person happy. Their thoughts, their choices, their actions and their expectations in life, will determine if they are happy.
Happiness is a choice, and as Golden Key #1 says, " You don't find happiness - you create it!"
The big secret here is that each of us has an alternative to changing and controlling someone else to make our lives easier; and that alternative is to accept others as they are. And so if others are unhappy because of how you are, they have the option to choose to accept you just as you are, too. But accepting and loving others (or you) doesn't always equate to keeping a negative relationship active. Sometimes when choosing to love and accept others as they are, it means saying goodbye.
Regardless of which choice others make, the truth remains that unconditional love is about acceptance, and not about control. So it's up to you to remember that fixing you won't necessarily make others happy; fixing you is about making you happy - or more specifically, creating a happier you. So make those changes to live your own dreams and be the best person you can - not to fulfill the expectations of others.
~ By Mia Pratt, Author of “The Secrets of the 100 Golden Keys.”
Mia Pratt's how-to exercises, practical insights, wisdom, and inspirational quotes offer you the Golden Keys of self-development to create a happy life!
